Half Truth

It aint one of those sudden realisations in life
And yet one which was achieved with considerable strife

Milestones were set at sincerity and integrity,
Destination arrived at deceit and hypocricy,

Chanakya was hardly being curt
"Straight trees are first to be cut"

Honesty and Integrity were redefined
To comfort the perpetrators the adjectives were refined

Strategies, Secrets and Half lies
Became the new age traits to vie

Diplomacy was the crowning glory
Gone were the days, when such acts were uncouth and gory

Yet the kindergarten definitions stayed the same
i guess they didnt expected the kids to enter the game

When the conniving were punished for being far from straight
It was like recongnising the future greats..

Those poor beasts also didnt realise
that this was their talent in disguise

Newbies were to meant to learn it the hard way
That there were hidden rules to the play

For answers the ordinary would sift in vain through their academic pile
The greats however.. what they lacked in competency, they made up in guile

Most of the above is just the raw truth
Guess it wont make sense till you brood..

Obituary to a dream

All the time i thought it would last
Never admitting that the dye was cast

Well it was hard to work with the assumption of godly fate
It just ruled out the possibility of messing with Almighty the great

Then.. at times he struck with force amass
And you know what .. one just couldnt grasp

The fact that your existence could be taken away
Makes you re-think, short term scam or long term play

What if you were not meant to last the race
And if you did, you might have run out of pace

Out of context as much it may seem
Saw a colleague going down with his dream

One fine morning we were informed
The bench he sat on would no longer be warmed

It wasnt the first.. not that there were no such things in the past..
And no matter how much i wish.. it wont be the last

Yet when it hits you from quarters so near
It makes you shiver with fear.. if not for self then those dear

Wake up Sid... you are an idiot!!

This year, there were a lot of movies that i liked, from Dev D to Kaminey to Love Aaj Kal and ofcourse Paa. And then there were two which made me think... Wake up Sid and 3 idiots..

No it wasnt a sudden flash of flight nor was it the enlightment par excellence but just the small flicker of thought... a small support to the way i want to think.. or rather the way i wish i could think...

Neither am i spoilt rich brat (no CRV not even a SLR guys...) and nor am i the suicidal/photographer/Wangdoo types... yet there is more to the line of thought...

The freedom to think.. the freedom to decide.. the freedom to fail.. the chance to feel been there done that...

One might argue that what better than taking the family legacy forward, what better than helping out your poor family, living your parents dreams or in some cases even earning the big moolah.. but what if you werent meant for either..

the afterthought of being caught
is the small twist to the plot..

what if...

now increasingly as i keep denying options and postponing decision making deadlines i dont even know what i am supposed to be doing.. but i am willing to experiment.. i still dont know what makes me love to live.. basically something that i enjoy doing while being good at it.. not the other way around like we have been taught... you should enjoy doing what you are good at .. because being good at it means.. that is what you were meant to be doing...

blah blah blah... i could go on forever.. rather i have been going on forever.. people convincing me have had it with me...

Anyways... kabhi toh i'll find my way, i cant just go on doing things for the sake of doing.. some day i would love to live for myself in the truest sense.. and probably that day i'll be most suitable to the rest of the world as well.. either ways then it wont even matter... LOL!!

I want... this and that... and maybe what i already have

I thought this time around I won’t bother with the rhyme, although it sounds better it just takes a lot of time. 

I was discussing with a friend yesterday on the ability to look within, how even things that you want, can be categorised into the public and the private divide. Basically the process of how your “wants” address your public and private needs.

For example, there will be certain wants like say visiting a famous place like say London or Paris which at times could be just "public wants", implying that, they would give you good conversation pointers and only make you feel appreciated in public. Infact your recollection of the fulfilment of these desires would also be limited to discussing them with the known appreciators.

On the other hand, there are a set of private wants, which may not be as appealing to those around you, yet to you, they are almost irresistible. For example, eating a favoured cuisine, spending time with a loved one, playing your favourite sport are all such moments of truth. The culmination of these wants would be the moments forming part of your memorabilia when you look back at life.

Yet sometimes we get confused and demand and run after public wants more than the private ones. Although this could be because we are more accustomed to discuss the former but in most cases, including myself, it happens because we don't identify those moments as fulfilment of wants, we don’t appreciate those moments of joy as those to be recollected and in turn just keep them to ourselves without tagging them as a lifelong remembrance.

The process of identification I haven't been able to figure out, but I know I want to start now and realise before long...