This year, there were a lot of movies that i liked, from Dev D to Kaminey to Love Aaj Kal and ofcourse Paa. And then there were two which made me think... Wake up Sid and 3 idiots..
No it wasnt a sudden flash of flight nor was it the enlightment par excellence but just the small flicker of thought... a small support to the way i want to think.. or rather the way i wish i could think...
Neither am i spoilt rich brat (no CRV not even a SLR guys...) and nor am i the suicidal/photographer/Wangdoo types... yet there is more to the line of thought...
The freedom to think.. the freedom to decide.. the freedom to fail.. the chance to feel been there done that...
One might argue that what better than taking the family legacy forward, what better than helping out your poor family, living your parents dreams or in some cases even earning the big moolah.. but what if you werent meant for either..
the afterthought of being caught
is the small twist to the plot..
what if...
now increasingly as i keep denying options and postponing decision making deadlines i dont even know what i am supposed to be doing.. but i am willing to experiment.. i still dont know what makes me love to live.. basically something that i enjoy doing while being good at it.. not the other way around like we have been taught... you should enjoy doing what you are good at .. because being good at it means.. that is what you were meant to be doing...
blah blah blah... i could go on forever.. rather i have been going on forever.. people convincing me have had it with me...
Anyways... kabhi toh i'll find my way, i cant just go on doing things for the sake of doing.. some day i would love to live for myself in the truest sense.. and probably that day i'll be most suitable to the rest of the world as well.. either ways then it wont even matter... LOL!!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
I want... this and that... and maybe what i already have
I thought this time around I won’t bother with the rhyme, although it sounds better it just takes a lot of time.
I was discussing with a friend yesterday on the ability to look within, how even things that you want, can be categorised into the public and the private divide. Basically the process of how your “wants” address your public and private needs.
For example, there will be certain wants like say visiting a famous place like say London or Paris which at times could be just "public wants", implying that, they would give you good conversation pointers and only make you feel appreciated in public. Infact your recollection of the fulfilment of these desires would also be limited to discussing them with the known appreciators.
On the other hand, there are a set of private wants, which may not be as appealing to those around you, yet to you, they are almost irresistible. For example, eating a favoured cuisine, spending time with a loved one, playing your favourite sport are all such moments of truth. The culmination of these wants would be the moments forming part of your memorabilia when you look back at life.
Yet sometimes we get confused and demand and run after public wants more than the private ones. Although this could be because we are more accustomed to discuss the former but in most cases, including myself, it happens because we don't identify those moments as fulfilment of wants, we don’t appreciate those moments of joy as those to be recollected and in turn just keep them to ourselves without tagging them as a lifelong remembrance.
The process of identification I haven't been able to figure out, but I know I want to start now and realise before long...
I was discussing with a friend yesterday on the ability to look within, how even things that you want, can be categorised into the public and the private divide. Basically the process of how your “wants” address your public and private needs.
For example, there will be certain wants like say visiting a famous place like say London or Paris which at times could be just "public wants", implying that, they would give you good conversation pointers and only make you feel appreciated in public. Infact your recollection of the fulfilment of these desires would also be limited to discussing them with the known appreciators.
On the other hand, there are a set of private wants, which may not be as appealing to those around you, yet to you, they are almost irresistible. For example, eating a favoured cuisine, spending time with a loved one, playing your favourite sport are all such moments of truth. The culmination of these wants would be the moments forming part of your memorabilia when you look back at life.
Yet sometimes we get confused and demand and run after public wants more than the private ones. Although this could be because we are more accustomed to discuss the former but in most cases, including myself, it happens because we don't identify those moments as fulfilment of wants, we don’t appreciate those moments of joy as those to be recollected and in turn just keep them to ourselves without tagging them as a lifelong remembrance.
The process of identification I haven't been able to figure out, but I know I want to start now and realise before long...
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Stars shining down
From dawn to dusk they wait in bitter,
Only in the dark, can the world admire their glitter
From the members of the vast unknown,
They becomes ascendants to the suns throne
The darkness aplenty, needs them to light up the gloom
They, the torchbearers burn their souls to live up the doom
The flickering lights to the media bytes,
They rehearse it all, from the top to the fall
They are the stars shining down
In the tuxedos and the evening gowns
Funny, how you compare the real to the reel
And emote surprise when there is difference to feel
Why was it they were held so high
If they couldn't even live up a lie
Among those star struck, i listened with attention rapt
And i wondered if the ladder up was reserved for the just
Entertain us, many a time, they do it right
How then do they reach a position of might
Like a pet trained to jump through the fired loop
Seems when he does it right, you are bound to stoop
I for one am among the fooled lot,
And then again there is still much to be sought...
Only in the dark, can the world admire their glitter
From the members of the vast unknown,
They becomes ascendants to the suns throne
The darkness aplenty, needs them to light up the gloom
They, the torchbearers burn their souls to live up the doom
The flickering lights to the media bytes,
They rehearse it all, from the top to the fall
They are the stars shining down
In the tuxedos and the evening gowns
Funny, how you compare the real to the reel
And emote surprise when there is difference to feel
Why was it they were held so high
If they couldn't even live up a lie
Among those star struck, i listened with attention rapt
And i wondered if the ladder up was reserved for the just
Entertain us, many a time, they do it right
How then do they reach a position of might
Like a pet trained to jump through the fired loop
Seems when he does it right, you are bound to stoop
I for one am among the fooled lot,
And then again there is still much to be sought...
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The lustiness of laze
For time unknown, the reaction hasn’t grown
The mention of lust, and outcomes the emotion of disgust
Without dissecting the origin and dictionary meanings
It’s simply put, just a yearning
Though best used to describe..... The primal beast (ya right!!)
I for once don’t find it wrong to create a stirring title atleast
The desire for laziness is no different to express then
If not all then most are infatuated with the siesta pen
Although more likely to be a feeling innate
When practiced at work, it separates the ordinary from the great
Like the L word... it’s a sensation best kept to yourself
Though all may crave inside, it aint for public indulgence
It’s contagious nonetheless
Well you can’t blame one, it’s comforting nevertheless
The soothing comfort of doing nothing for once
It starts as a puff, and soon becomes an addiction for existence
To break the circle you must toil, those plans for slumber one must foil
And there comes a point of no return, when you become a hardworking geek with no fun
Yet, the lust for laziness survives on the weak and the meek
For the rest it just waits for the weekend breaks...
The mention of lust, and outcomes the emotion of disgust
Without dissecting the origin and dictionary meanings
It’s simply put, just a yearning
Though best used to describe..... The primal beast (ya right!!)
I for once don’t find it wrong to create a stirring title atleast
The desire for laziness is no different to express then
If not all then most are infatuated with the siesta pen
Although more likely to be a feeling innate
When practiced at work, it separates the ordinary from the great
Like the L word... it’s a sensation best kept to yourself
Though all may crave inside, it aint for public indulgence
It’s contagious nonetheless
Well you can’t blame one, it’s comforting nevertheless
The soothing comfort of doing nothing for once
It starts as a puff, and soon becomes an addiction for existence
To break the circle you must toil, those plans for slumber one must foil
And there comes a point of no return, when you become a hardworking geek with no fun
Yet, the lust for laziness survives on the weak and the meek
For the rest it just waits for the weekend breaks...
Monday, September 21, 2009
Closure
It took me years to ponder
Why did the hate so long linger
Attachment I didn't feel any
Yet the nerves tensed so many
Was it forever to be an open wound
Was every mention to make me curl up crude
It took a stroke of emotion to realise
A viewpoint crept in the head unwise
What if the power was taken away
What if feelings had scattered astray
Did I want it to stay.... No way
Did i want it to last another day... a loud nay..
At moments like these i realised
Sometimes the worldly definitions complicated the defined
What was simple enough to be overcome at once
With previous experience of others seemed like grievance by the tonnes
I forgot my own lesson of life
Uniqueness pervades every aspect of the strife
What if I stood at the same shore
I took a different road and chose a different door...
Why did the hate so long linger
Attachment I didn't feel any
Yet the nerves tensed so many
Was it forever to be an open wound
Was every mention to make me curl up crude
It took a stroke of emotion to realise
A viewpoint crept in the head unwise
What if the power was taken away
What if feelings had scattered astray
Did I want it to stay.... No way
Did i want it to last another day... a loud nay..
At moments like these i realised
Sometimes the worldly definitions complicated the defined
What was simple enough to be overcome at once
With previous experience of others seemed like grievance by the tonnes
I forgot my own lesson of life
Uniqueness pervades every aspect of the strife
What if I stood at the same shore
I took a different road and chose a different door...
Friday, August 14, 2009
The Picasso life
A friend once told me Picasso’s cubism serves
For all i understood, the guy couldn’t draw the curves
What was so special to demand a feeling so elate
Weren’t cubes part of the daily plate
Well then life moved out of arts and fun
And the cubes struck back with a pun
They were all around like popsicles in childhood dreams
For an instance i thought they only maintained elegant streams
Another look at the office space didn’t change the thought too much
I got the good old desk and chair without the cubicle touch
The window seemed like the reward for those missing out
Yet to a novice like me, it was the icing on the cake without doubt
Today morning the prejudice was removed
To a cubicle when i was requested to be moved...
The boss seeked a pleasant response for his friendly gesture
All i could think was, uh....ummm... as you say master...
The first few minutes of enclosed space made me realise
This must have been the creation of the worldly wise...
To trap you in a space with plenty for others to peek
To look around there was nothing much to seek
It is supposed to make you nice and warm, and..define your workplace
I stretched my hands behind.... and already i was sharing a colleague’s space..
So much for my assertion of it helping me concentrate on work
Been yapping about it for an hour with a mighty smirk
Soon i will come out with the cubicle chronicles..
The life and story of those trapped...
For now i know for sure, no matter what efforts i make
In their household woes, i will be sapped...
For all i understood, the guy couldn’t draw the curves
What was so special to demand a feeling so elate
Weren’t cubes part of the daily plate
Well then life moved out of arts and fun
And the cubes struck back with a pun
They were all around like popsicles in childhood dreams
For an instance i thought they only maintained elegant streams
Another look at the office space didn’t change the thought too much
I got the good old desk and chair without the cubicle touch
The window seemed like the reward for those missing out
Yet to a novice like me, it was the icing on the cake without doubt
Today morning the prejudice was removed
To a cubicle when i was requested to be moved...
The boss seeked a pleasant response for his friendly gesture
All i could think was, uh....ummm... as you say master...
The first few minutes of enclosed space made me realise
This must have been the creation of the worldly wise...
To trap you in a space with plenty for others to peek
To look around there was nothing much to seek
It is supposed to make you nice and warm, and..define your workplace
I stretched my hands behind.... and already i was sharing a colleague’s space..
So much for my assertion of it helping me concentrate on work
Been yapping about it for an hour with a mighty smirk
Soon i will come out with the cubicle chronicles..
The life and story of those trapped...
For now i know for sure, no matter what efforts i make
In their household woes, i will be sapped...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The Recency Syndrome
Out of sight, out of mind
How would i remember you through my grind
Ever wondered how you lost track of your trusted accomplices
People who meant the world, whom your heart now and then misses
Well for one i thought it was all about the connection
And for seconds i put it down to the mutual affection
But it was more than abstract thoughts
In the real world, where you ran after what you sought,
It wasn’t just about the intention to stay in touch
It needed an effort to remember as such
Everytime a new acquaintance entered life, the mind tried to push an old one aside
Don't bet on the intelligence of the same, more like the last time the thought of him came
In an effort to connect to the present, loosened strings of the past
In the valley of known, i hung on to the recent cast
It ain't about losing touch and regretting the same
Its about realising how the rest remained
Admiring the test they stood by
When your memory would have thought a many to bid them bye
Real friends might not be the ones who stick around always
They might not be the ones that badger you and lecture on the right and wrong
For me they are the ones who stood up when i called, and i knew
That no matter how many hours separate the last talk, to connect they wont take long
And invariably you will find, you’re in shit most of the time
And to call up your effervescent chum ain't not crime
And if you suffer from the recency syndrome too,
He wont respond cuz you felt damn guilty to dial him to
The moral of the story is to bear in mind
Lost in the grind, you need a buddy to unwind,
So make a call, write a message, drive an extra mile
It is you who knows how to make him stay the while
How would i remember you through my grind
Ever wondered how you lost track of your trusted accomplices
People who meant the world, whom your heart now and then misses
Well for one i thought it was all about the connection
And for seconds i put it down to the mutual affection
But it was more than abstract thoughts
In the real world, where you ran after what you sought,
It wasn’t just about the intention to stay in touch
It needed an effort to remember as such
Everytime a new acquaintance entered life, the mind tried to push an old one aside
Don't bet on the intelligence of the same, more like the last time the thought of him came
In an effort to connect to the present, loosened strings of the past
In the valley of known, i hung on to the recent cast
It ain't about losing touch and regretting the same
Its about realising how the rest remained
Admiring the test they stood by
When your memory would have thought a many to bid them bye
Real friends might not be the ones who stick around always
They might not be the ones that badger you and lecture on the right and wrong
For me they are the ones who stood up when i called, and i knew
That no matter how many hours separate the last talk, to connect they wont take long
And invariably you will find, you’re in shit most of the time
And to call up your effervescent chum ain't not crime
And if you suffer from the recency syndrome too,
He wont respond cuz you felt damn guilty to dial him to
The moral of the story is to bear in mind
Lost in the grind, you need a buddy to unwind,
So make a call, write a message, drive an extra mile
It is you who knows how to make him stay the while
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